Humor vampirism 002

Like Bach and Michele Bachmann

Some similarities exist, right?

You may, you may believe it or not, but my puns have actually been hits with my coworkers lately. Wednesday they were saying if you did not eat the center of an egg, then you would be missing out on the protein. In that case, I said that the yolk would be on you.

Thursday they were wondering why you would need a wireless keyboard. I showed that you would need a wireless keyboard to play notes behind your back and over your head.

I will now suck away all the humor by discussing grammar. Of course, I should have been using “one,” but I was recalling a conversation, and we Americans informally use you instead of one frequently in conversation.

Advertisements

MBH – my brain hurts 013

I have lately not featured any car enough on this blog, but MBH – my brain hurts whenever I think about One Big Ass Mistake America; he is always looking to blame the GOP, or something else, for his abject failure.

Beware of job-killing ATMs
“Earlier this morning, I linked to this story making its way around the web: Did Barack Obama really blame ATMs for high unemployment? ‘The other thing that happened though, this goes to the point you were just making, is there are some structural issues with our economy where a lot of businesses have…’”

War Powers Act Does Not Apply to Libya, Obama Argues
“The White House says the act requiring approval by Congress doesn’t apply to the Libya operation because what United States forces are doing there doesn’t amount to ‘hostilities.’”

You’re a Douchebag Vampire Wanna-Be Boner.”

‘Ecosexuals’ Make Love With Nature
“A small number of pioneers are taking their love of nature to the next step and calling themselves ‘Ecosexuals.’ The term is fairly new and you won’t find it used clinically just yet.”

Some days you just have to say, “What?” – J-List Tumblr

Criticizing Obama, Kucinich credits Bush for asking Congress to go to war
“Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) on Thursday ripped President Obama while giving credit to former President George W. Bush for asking Congress to authorize the war in Iraq.”

[They] will be fine, and they will have
absolutely no memory of this horrible place!

2012 Chevrolet Camaro ZL1 – First Look
“We were recently let into a studio for a first look at the all-new 2012 Chevrolet Camaro ZL1, and had them fire up the ZL1’s 550-horsepower LSA supercharged V-8 for good measure.”

Vancouver Takes To Facebook For Riot Clean Up
“Oh, Canada! Rowdy Vancouver Canucks fans were rioting in the streets last night over the team’s loss in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup. And the city is taking to Facebook and other social media to clean up the mess, according to several news sites.”

Glenn Close. Glenn Far. – J-List Tumblr

Audi TV releases video recap of the 2011 Le Mans race | QuattroWorld
“The Audi R18 TDI claimed its first Le Mans overall victory on its maiden trip to 24 hours of Le Mans. The race was spectacularly emotional, as two of the …”

Cisco Borderless Challenge – Security & Video Edition
“I took the Cisco Borderless Challenge, learned about Cisco products and have a chance to win an exciting trip.”

Postscript to Experiment 011

I am not sure if we have quite found one with what
the New Kids on the Block would call, “The Right Stuff.”

New Hampshire GOP Debate (LIVE UPDATES)
“Seven Republican presidential hopefuls are facing off in New Hampshire’s first presidential debate of the 2012 election season Monday night.”

Can Anyone Beat Barack Obama?
“The race for the GOP nomination promises to be a big-money, bloodthirsty street fight across red states as diverse as Oklahoma and Nebraska. So to make things a little less gory, here’s some advice for Mr. President’s would-be challengers …”

PJTV: Battle of the Blands: Would Ryan, Rudy and Perry
Energize the 2012 GOP Clown Car?

Republican presidential candidates’ best message may be: I’m not Obama
“For Republican candidates hoping to win the White House in 2012, the best message may also be the simplest: I’m not President Obama.”

Twitter / Don Denton Turley: “We still haven’t heard a plan. I want to hear about specifics. Tell me exactly what you are setting out to do. #cnndebate” … Indeed, I did not even know about the debate until I read that message.

DNC Chair: N.H. Debate Highlighted Republicans’ ‘Extreme Policies’
“Democratic Party Chair Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.) says the Monday night Republican debate in New Hampshire showcased the ‘failed policies’ of GOP.”

Why is she so… smart?

In Fantasyland, DNC Chair Says We Turned This Economy Around
“David Gregory Calls Out Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz and other Democrats on their handling of our Economy”

Realistically rendered characters from the Simpsons

Realistic cartoon Simpsons characters

After 28 Months of Stimulus Spending, 1.9 Million Fewer People Have Jobs | CNSnews.com
“In this Nov. 4, 2010 photo, a sign turning away potential job-seekers is seen outside of a construction site in New Orleans. (AP Photo/Patrick Semansky)”

The experiment has been a failure and an unmitigated disaster.

Obama Jokes at Jobs Council: ‘Shovel-Ready Was Not as Shovel-Ready as We Expected’ – Stimulus – Fox
“Watch the latest video at FoxNews.com President Obama’s Council on Jobs and Competitiveness met today in Durham, NC at Cree Inc., a company that manufactures energy-efficient LED …”

Our especially retarded president is the real joke,
and other retards can also make jokes:

Jon Stewart Compares Sarah Palin Bus Tour Video To An Ad For Herpes Medication
“They both appear during times of stress.”

Others on Comedy Central were quick to ask:

Has Sarah Palin Already Seen the New Season of Futurama?
“After getting the story of Paul Revere’s midnight ride wrong, Sarah Palin has been treated like she tweeted a picture of her penis. But maybe she doesn’t actually have a comically warped perception of…”

They need to prove such:

Help analyze the Palin emailsThe FixThe Washington Post
“Tens of thousands of emails sent by former Alaska governor Sarah Palin are set to be released on Friday. Want to help the Washington Post sort through them?”

Denton once said, “The media didn’t create Sarah Palin
[as a media phenomenon] and they can’t destroy her.”

NBC the Most Excited by Palin’s E-Mail, Yet Fails to Dig Up Any ‘Bombshells’
“Much of the media made fools of themselves with their excited obsession over the release of Sarah Palin’s gubernatorial e-mails, but NBC News went the furthest, sending, as did CNN, reporters to Juneau as the network uniquely led its Friday night newscast by hyping the non-news as a major event.”

I am not so sure, Glenn Beck:

Experts: Sarah Palin ‘best person in world history’
“Media search of Palin emails backfires…”

Let us watch “Equestria Girls (with lyrics)” to bring a smile to my face.

Need to read again 018

Well, this has been okay for a Monday, and fun with arbitrary dates.

USA Today Wants Your ‘Vette On Their Website
“USA Today wants pictures of your Vette parked in an interesting location as a celebration of the brand’s 58th anniversary. For some reason. Either way it
s free publicity for you and your car, so strike now while the iron’s hot!”

Indeed such an artist was featured by Maxim.

Katy Perry
“She’s Perry, Perry hot!”

Twitter / Chris Pirillo: “Cooks always seem to run out of thyme. #punday” … You might not have seen the South Park episode last week.

South Park Studios Youre Getting Old (Season 15, Episode 7) – Episode Guide
“After Stan celebrates his 10th birthday, he begins to see everything differently. The other boys think hes become a major buzzkill and start to avoid hanging out with him. When Stan and Kyle have a major blow up, the very fabric of South Park begins to …”

I don’t know much about the music of today, but I love The Hub.

Pony-Loving Fanboys – Bronies Are a Growing Group of Male ‘My Little Pony’ Enthusiasts (VIDEO)
bronies – Broniesare a growing group of male fans who love My Little Pony. The 80s cartoon was updated and released last fall on Hub TV and has since insp…

Yes, I indeed am, and “Equestria Girls” is also infectious.

Celebratory note 012

My father Mikely is celebrating his retirement yesterday evening, and Grandmother June is visiting on her birthday, which was Friday.

These people seem happy to be saving on their car insurance.

AutoQuotesProCompare Car Insurance Quotes and Save

Are they to scale in reference to the Ford Explorer?

4WD vs AWD: What’s The Diff?
“We take a look at the basic assets and strengths of 4WD and AWD systems, discuss the major players in each category, and suggest what to keep in mind when using these systems to the best of their capabilities. Read more on 4WD vs AWD from the automotive experts at Motor Trend.”

The experts at the Roving Imp, Biblioclast will perform in Chicago tonight; they are destroying Roadhouse, and I have been thinking about the following from Family Guy ever since the announcement:

As far as I understand, John should be back in time for the regular showat the Roving Imp on Saturday night, when Denton will also be returning to the stage.

Camouflage Camaro ZL1 Makes Appearance at Michigan F body Show
“As we get closer to the first production ZL1 rolling off the assembly line, prototypes are starting make appearances at car shows and events. Recently, CamaroZ28 forum members caught a good look at a camouflage ZL1 at the Michigan Fbody Show.”

Similarly themed, some celebrities have recently had birthdays.

Happy 36th Birthday, Angelina Jolie! – E! Online
“Kung Fu Panda 2 star and Brad Pitt buddy celebrates today, but what could you possibly get her?”

That was June 4, and June 9:

Johnny DeppWikipedia, the free encyclopedia
“John Christopher ‘Johnny’ Depp II (born June 9, 1963) is an American actor and musician. He has won the Golden Globe Award and Screen Actors Guild award for Best Actor. Depp rose to prominence on the 1980s television series 21 Jump Street, becoming a teen idol. Turning to film, he played the title character …”

The Back to the Future trilogy congratulates:

Happy 50th Birthday! Our Five Favorite Michael J. Fox MomentsTIME NewsFeed
“From a basketball-hogging werewolf, to Deputy Mayor of New York, to leading the charge for a Parkinson’s cure, Michael J. Fox has played every role he’s called for with a playful ease and inimitable professionalism. To help celebrate this, his 50th birthday, we take a look back at five of our …”

Thank you for your time.

Web Wanderings 022

The first entry in this series was created about a year ago, and the evolution of the format was acknowledged in the fifth iteration. I am not liking the News Feed much in Facebook; the same stories are displaying three or more times.

Facebook Enables Facial Recognition For Millions — Here’s How To Turn It Off
“Facebook’s well known facial recognition system was limited to users in North America, but it went global over the past couple of days.”

Twitter / Chris Beveridge: “Any article that has to explain what Facebook is to the reader has failed.”

Health Secretary Sebelius asks minister to help push back against
“U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius asked black pastors and clergy members to help the administration fight what she called ‘mistruths’ about the health care reform law President Barack Obama signed into law last year.”

Let us suppose for the moment that you are correct.

Obama Doesn’t Fear Double-Dip Recession in Face of Rising Unemployment Rate
“President Barack Obama said he is not worried about a double-dip recession, and he believes the economy is recovering, despite the weak jobs report release on Friday, showing unemployment reached 9.1 percent.”

Now that the moment has passed, you are in fact wrong again.

Fox News Poll: Obama Approval Drops, Reelection Numbers Bad – President Obama – Fox Nation
“The president’s job rating has returned to pre-bin Laden raid levels, according to a Fox News poll released Wednesday. Currently 48 percent of American voters approve of the job…”

Both the Porsche Boxster and the Porsche Cayman seat only two, so I can guess that Hannah Mott rode in either a Porsche 911, which has a rear bench seat; or a Porsche Cayenne, a five-seat, mid-size luxury crossover based on the Volkswagen Touareg; or a Porsche Panamera, a five-door, four-seat luxury sedan. Of course, I am also assuming that the Porsche was a late model.

A second out of phase 002

With my clipboard, I was feeling very clerical, “I am feeling very Olympic today.” Last week at my place of work, checking and cleaning classrooms took precedence over my blog.

The 2011 F-150 SVT Raptor | The official site of the Ford F-150 | FordVehicles.com
“Meet the 2010 Raptor, the off-road, SVT version of the Ford F-150. Designed for the serious off-roader and loaded with stock high-performance parts this is the vehicle made for the off-road trucking enthusiast. Made by the company with ultimate knowledge of off-road trucking and the performance-engine…”

Yeah, I had been using that site for the Ford F-150 SVT Raptor to test sound in the rooms at Johnson County Community College.

A document camera is equipment used for making presentations, and hardly relates to equipment used for cinema or photography. I am also speaking specifically about a unit by WolfVision, a name which I suppose should Zartanly pique the interest of David Rushing.

This document camera is like your girlfriend; I cannot figure out how to turn her on. Nifer, did I just make a joke about vibrating blow-up doll?

The Swedish Bed  » Blog Archive   » The best slave Leia Comic art on internet.

I didn’t plan on going anywhere last Thursday night, because the neighbors have people lined down one side of the street. I was not invited to watch the dumb KU game. Forget them. I would rather s watch Top Gear on BBC America, Regular Show on Cartoon Network, or stream Naruto: Shippuuden on Crunchyroll.

“You think only Japanese schoolgirls can be assassins?
Think again!”

Following play on Pandora, I bought “Secret Parkway” by Sharam from iTunes.

I just pledged to avoid all razors for 3 weeks to help Budweiser save one million gallons of water for World Environment Day.

If I had first known for what this was, then I would likely not be doing such; I only use an electric razor when I do shave.