Humor vampirism 001

As my family well knows, I have a tendency to suck away all the fun and humor by encouraging the bickering with, and among, my sisters. When among friends, I often suck away all the humor by forcing a pun. Nearly a year ago, I also sucked away all the humor by discussing grammar. I am often unknowingly quite hilarious at other times.

Here I am sucking away all the humor with a correction:

Twitter / Christopher Hurt: “Don’t you mean Glenn Beck? RT @chicineverycity: @OffOurChest what does #buzkill make you think of? glen beck”

Twitter / off our chests: “@chris_m_hurt @chicineverycity typos can be such a buzzkill.”

Twitter / Jessica: “@OffOurChest @chris_m_hurt werd.”

Twitter / Jessica: “@chris_m_hurt I’m from PA… embarrassing. I’m embracing your philosophy & assuming Toomey’s crazy reflects poorly on me. #yayegocentrism

Toomey, Top Republicans: Not Raising The Debt Ceiling? No Biggie!
“Top Republicans in Congress are advancing the idea that allowing the U.S. to default on its debts for a short amount of time will be fairly harmless, and is a far better option than lifting the debt ceiling sans dramatic spending cuts.”

Twitter / Christopher Hurt: “@OffOurChest @chicineverycity Actually, I thought that my pointing out the error was itself a bit of a #buzkill

He’s a bigger buzzkill than Buzz Killington.”

Twitter / off our chests: “@chris_m_hurt @chicineverycity oh, it was. but truth is truth, and it must be spoken. :)”

Here I am sucking away all the humor by forcing a pun:

The title of the following website suggests the addition of the primary consonant of the privateer, which in turn suggests a new nick-name for a different friend Jessie:

“[Preggster Jessie] is not only pregnant, she is very pregnant …”
… … …. … …

A second out of phase 001

A rather large dog

This was indeed a rather large dog, which might be called a cow in other parts of the country.

Before seeing to Tantrum with Loaded Dice on Friday at the Westport Coffee House, I was proven correct when I expected that Imo’s Pizza should ironically be free of weepy teens and hipsters; indeed no “emo” people were  there. Unfortunately, the audience was too small for the show, so they refunded our tickets and gave us coupons to see a free show.

Two months ago, co-worker invited me to a cook-out at his house. The event was the same time as the shows at the Roving Imp on Saturday. My sister Pamela came long. I had fun conversations, and ate plenty of bratwursts and turkey burgers. The weather was somewhat cooler than usual.

I find myself again feeling a second out of phase. A week has passed since my last improv class. The ordeal with my on-line class has emotionally drained me, and I have not looked at enough headlines related to automobiles to distract me from the exhaustion. This morning I have been coughing and sneezing too much. I will be glad to leave work early today for my doctor’s appointment.

Experimental Philosophy
“Find out when new studies sponsored by the APA and Yale Cognitive Science become available!”

The Chevrolet Caprice PPV, the Ford Explorer and Ford Taurus will soon become available for police use.

LA Sheriff’s Department tests new police cruisers, compiles findings in 174-page reportAutoblog
“2011 Chevrolet Caprice Police Car – Click above for high-res image gallery Curious about the latest crop of cop cars? The Los Angeles Sheriff…”

An Autocar article, “A week in a Mini E,” suggests that no purely electric vehicle is good for traveling long distances.

Nissan Leaf Nismo RC gets on-track shakedownAutoblog
“Nissan Leaf Nismo RC – Click above to watch video after the jump Nissan has yet to figure out exactly where the company will campaign its…”

This man has yet to figure out exactly how he will campaign.

World Net Daily: Newt Gingrich is a Liberal
“There’s simply no polite way to say this: Newt Gingrich is a liberal. – Gingrich has completely disqualified himself from consideration by any conservative Republican.”

Accent, you ain’t the thankfully good Chevy Cruze.

2012 Hyundai Accent: cheaper and better equipped
“The Accent Hyundai presented at this year’s Montreal Auto Show took everyone by surprise, a completely redesigned and frankly great product, both from an aesthetic and mechanical point of view.”

An interesting point of view, Nifer recently wondered if she could live without sleep. Such a premise was once used for the villain in Die Another Day, and the Aston Martin and Jaguar cars were also very nice.

Web Wanderings 021

Although Denton and I have actually not reviewed any algebra this afternoon, You Don’t Know Jack did include a question about factorials. Earlier, we were looking at The Blaze, a news site associated with Glenn Beck, and read, “The worst political ad ever.”

‘I Have Issues…I’m Korean!’: CA Dem Under Fire for ‘Offensive’ Campaign Ads
“Diane Ellis of Ricochet.com writes: Dan Adler is just one of many Democrats angling for California’s 36th District Congressional seat freshly vacated by Jane Harman.   But Adler‘s got something the other candidates don’t: a line of shocking, politically incorrect, and arguably offensive political advertisements.”

Three other ads are also shown on the page, and two include an appearance from the spouse and alternately the son of John Astin, who was noted for his catch phrase on Night Court:

But I’m feeling much better now.”

Those web wanderings were not like my most recent on-line course which has been an unmitigated disaster.

After tornadoes, junk donations become challenge
“Relief officials inundated with donations after the flurry of twisters that killed more than 300 people across the South are sorting through the broken toys and used underwear they don’t need while hunting for places to store mountains of vital supplies like canned food. ”

A friend observes, “I’ll never forget when I was in Honduras helping unload a crate for the needy, it was mostly garage sale castoffs… why would the AIDS hospital need a box of old tangled wigs?”

Botch-fest 019

Following the instructions of my academic adviser, I have regrettably had to withdraw from my on-line class. I submitted my institutional application late to the Department of Financial Aid, who subsequently lost the electronic copy of the form. I resubmitted the form, but I was disenrolled from the course on Friday. In order for me to not owe for the course, I was advised to drop the course. I regret that I have not been able to contribute to the class discussions. I did not understand that my responsibility was to purchase the textbook ahead of the class. When I have an appointment with a doctor requiring a blood test and property taxes due on my car, I do not know how I will be able to purchase the book ahead of the next term.

This has been an unmitigated disaster.

Botch-fest 018

Nothing apparently matters because the Department of Financial Aid in Phoenix lost the electronic copy of my institutional application that I completed on May 3.

I read that the institutional application was missing on Thursday evening, so I completed another institutional application on site on Friday, but by then they had already administratively withdrawn me from the course for nonpayment.

Right now I know neither what I should try to do anymore nor whether I should try to do anything anymore. God, I hate them so much.

You can walk or deny 002

A friend finds my blog to be entertaining, so I may now say, “I update my entertainingly shallow and pedantic blog.” I am doing another study with Delve today. Once I am paid for that, I will know how the numbers for the fuel consumption of my Chevy Cavalier have improved.

Kansas Blasted By Unusual May Heatwave
“TOPEKA, Kan. — A wave of unseasonable heat is keeping much of Kansas in its grip, and it’s not expected to let go until rain and thunderstorms move into the state. Tuesday, May 10, 2011.”

Yes, my car has been using fuel more efficiently because of warmer temperatures. Instead of Java Jazz, I met Denton yesterday in the cafeteria, and I can no longer hear Obama over Cheech and Chong, thank God.

What President Obama’s immigration speech tells us about 2012The FixThe Washington Post
“How President Obama’s speech on immigration in Texas is indicative of the broader themes of his reelection campaign.”

Obama should not be talking about the American dream, when he is doing nothing other than destroying it.

ALERT: Facebook Chat Hijackers Keep Attacking
“Chat hijackers continue their assault on our accounts, promising applications that show us who looks at our profiles in an attempt to lure us to malware. Don’t click!”

I once unfriended someone whose account was infected.

10 Reasons Why You Got Unfriended on Facebook
“Learn how to keep from getting unfriended on Facebook with this list of ‘what not to do’ examples.”

Only a genius would know why I have been unfriended.

Scientists Find Einstein’s ‘Missing Inch’ | Dr. Kaku’s Universe | Big Think
“Physicists at Stanford, who have spearheaded the billion-dollar Gravity Probe B mission, have announced that they have found Einstein’s missing inch, once again proving the correctness of general relativity.”

Your girlfriend likes my kind of pole.

Poll: Men Ages 18 to 24 Spend Two Hours a Week Watching PornBroBible.com
“A recent survey in the U.K. revealed that 18- to 24-year-old men are watching, on average, two hours of porn each week. That total seems a little high,…”

Four years ago, I saved all the porn that I would ever need, so I no longer need to dredge.

Attackers Use Google Image Search to Distribute Malware
“Attackers are now using Google’s image search to distributed malware, security experts say. Thousands of sites have reportedly been compromised by code injection–the malicious code redirects users to fake anti-virus applications.”

But I did not use Carbonite.

3 Reasons That Online Backup Use Is Up 380%
In 2009, an F-Secure survey revealed that 44% of Internet users failed to do any sort of backup whatsoever. But times have changed. A new F-Secure poll of 609 Internet users finds that only 14% of users do not make regular backups—a 68% decrease in less than two years.

For two years I have been on Facebook.

I recently mentioned to David and John that a purpose of this blog is also to chronicle links which I share.

The House That Del Built
“The Intellectual Musings of an Improv Wonk.”

Stealth choppers played key role in bin Laden raid, but some secrets may have been exposed
“WASHINGTON — Secret until now, stealth helicopters may have been key to the success of the Osama bin Laden raid. But the so-far-unexplained crash of one of the modified Black Hawks at the scene apparently compromised at least some of the aircraft’s secrets.”

If this summer’s movie posters told the truth – Movie Feature – TheShiznit.co.uk

NSA Gathers 4x the Amount of Info than the Library of Congress, Daily
“The National Security Agency is the geekiest of the spy shops. The NSA is responsible for gathering and parsing information from around the world, usually electronic data. At ReadWriteWeb, we’re no strangers to big data, in fact we’re fans. But sometimes you come face to face with facts and figures …”

Twitter / jeffalopolis: “On the bright side, I got a Rammstein shirt from my friend because it’s European Cut and he’s American Cut so it won’t fit him :D”

Rammstein – Ich tu dir weh – Video Oficial HD (Lyrics y Traducción)
“Rammstein – Ich tu dir weh. Audio sin modificar (el mejor audio en youtube por el momento) Lyrics y traducción. Disfruten y Comenten!…”

At QuikTrip, my Chevy Cavalier posted 28.938 miles per gallon or 8.1 liters per 100 kilometers.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Paraskevidekatriaphobia, or the fear of Friday the 13th, is not one of my irrational fears. Any time that the first day of a month appears on a Sunday on your calendar, the thirteenth day will be a Friday, and I welcome having payday earlier than the fifteenth day of the month.

Robert Johnson At 100, Still Dispelling Myths
“Tomorrow marks the 100th anniversary of the birth of Robert Johnson. Despite hardy rumors that the bluesman sold his soul to the devil, Johnson’s most important legacy is his mastery of recorded music.”

His legendary character was in O Brother Where Art Thou?

Pixar’s Cars 2 Uses J-Pop’s Perfume Song Worldwide
“‘Polyrhythm’ song to be featured on soundtrack in U.S. & other countries”

Scientists pay close attention to new brain findings
“If you find you are easily distracted, the explanation may be that…. HEY. BACK OVER HERE. As I was saying, if you find you are easily distracted, it …”

Last night you also dreamed about being photographed in front of a big prop box of Mueslix?

‘CARS 2’ Star Larry the Cable Guy to Serve as Honorary Pace Car Driver For the Coca-Cola 600
“Blue-collar comedian and the voice of Mater in the upcoming Disney*Pixar summer comedy CARS 2, Larry the Cable Guy will ‘git-r-done’ as the honorary pace-car driver for the 52nd running of the Coca-Cola 600 on May 29 at Charlotte Motor Speedway.”

The Red Bull Racing Team has doomed us.

Kasey Kahne 4th, Brian Vickers 34th in NASCAR Cup race at Darlington.
“Kasey Kahne started on pole, led a race-high 124 laps and finished 4th in Saturday nights NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Darlington. Brian Vickers was 34th.”

We are doomed.

Is this the end of dark matter?
“An experiment designed to catch a few WIMPs, the particles that are meant to make up dark matter, has failed to detect any sign of them. Galaxies should be flying apart.”

We are all doomed.

Microsoft to acquire Skype for $8.5 billion
“The software giant says that Skype’s video-chatting platform will bolster its Kinect and Windows Phone platforms. It will also ‘connect’ Skype users with Xbox Live. Read this blog post by Don Reisinger on The Digital Home.”

Before going to Wendy’s, I went to SureWest Communications, and found the bill to be $30 higher than last month.