YBH – your brain hurts 006

To feed my wild side, I bought some Jack Link’s Beef Jerky at QuikTrip because I had a coupon for one dollar off the price of a 3.25-oz. bag. The stories of somnambulism from my friends bring new meaning, “I could do this in my sleep,” and Sunday we watched some Sons of Anarchy.

Apple to Customer Service: Don’t Help Our Customers with Malware
“You’d like to think that customer service is out to serve the customers (you), right? Not exactly! After an unusually broad spread of Mac Defender, a piece of OS X malware, Apple is telling customers they’re on their own. The order, straight from an internal memo to Apple’s customer support reps,…”

If you think that I might actually know something about that, then you are terribly misguided.

Governor Brownback Legislative Priorities Press Conference
“Governor Sam Brownback holds a media availability to discuss priorities for the remaining days of the legislative session …”

“What’s YOUR opinion of his priorities?”

NBC’s Andrea Mitchell Regrets Republicans Lack ‘Courage’ to Raise Taxes
“NBC’s Andrea Mitchell on Sunday conceded ‘Paul Ryan has shown considerable guts’ with his Medicare plan, but she declared liberal Democratic Congressman Chris Van Hollen is ‘correct that nobody on the Republican side is showing any courage on the tax front. And unless taxes are part of the mix,’ NBC…”

Yes, and you were obviously a judge in the pageant for the casting of ‘Miss Guiding Light’.

Broadcaster silent as Judgment Day hours tick by
“With no sign his forecast of Judgment Day arriving on Saturday has come true, the 89-year-old California evangelical broadcaster and former civil engineer behind the pronouncement seemed to have gone silent.”

Melina Kanakaredes could also be ‘Miss Guiding Light’; before CSI: NY she starred in Providence.

Robert Fitzpatrick reacts to doomsday false alarm
“Times square May, 21 2011 6:05. None of the people talking were me.”

Truly the Majority Against ObamaCare exists, however.

Even Pelosi’s Own Constituents Don’t Like Government Healthcare Takeover | Texas GOP Vote
“NRCC – Although Heath Shuler refuses to repeal the Democrats’ job-destroying government takeover of healthcare, even businesses located in his party leader’s San Francisco district are now looking for ways out of its ruinous effects. Shuler will now have to defend his vote to continue implementing …”

Trust me to awkwardly adapt the “Theme from Shaft” by substituting Melina Kanakaredes for the title character.

How North Koreans get their laughs
“By reinterpreting Communist propaganda party slogans, North Koreans show their sense of humor as well as their growing dislike of the Kim Jong Il regime.”

David Rushing commented on my status, “Who’s the sly dog who can make Shaft awkward in a fog like a chicken doing a hog? Chris!”

9 Words You’ve Used Today With Bizarre Criminal Origins
“Apparently, English is actually just a mishmash of grunts and shrieks assembled haphazardly from the crude dialects of hobos, gypsies and rapists.”

This is a violation:

Entry-level Maserati sedan to feature a Chrysler engine – report
“According to Car and Driver, the sedan is being developed alongside the 2012 Quattroporte and will feature Pininfarina styling. More interestingly, the car is rumored to ride on an aluminum-intensive chassis and offer optional all-wheel drive.”

Except for one dream last night, all of my dreams were just the same: nightmares.

» Obama administration floats draft plan to tax cars by the mile Alex Jones’ Infowars: There’s a war…
“The Obama administration has floated a transportation authorization bill that would require the study and implementation of a plan to tax automobile drivers based on how many miles they drive.”

Thinking critically has traditionally been difficult for me.

Government to Tap the Federal Retirement Funds to Run Government
“The Obama administration will begin to tap federal retiree programs to help fund operations after the government lost its ability Monday to borrow more money from the public, adding urgency to efforts in Washington to fashion a compromise over the debt.”

Having been told that it’s okay to laugh, I will now crackle maniacally.

Botch-fest 020

The University has recently provided me with more than enough about which to complain, and I have made a few mistakes lately in dealing with them. To be clear, I stand with Christians United for Israel. Kitto I must write a disclaimer about the strong language that will appear later in this post, like your girlfriend. With that said, our especially retarded president has fucked up things with Israel:

Obama: Israel must act boldlyChristians United for Israel
“In major policy speech, President Obama says ‘Israel must act boldly to advance lasting peace,’ stresses status quo ‘unsustainable.’ Border between Israel, Palestinian to be based on 1967 lines, he says”

If Obama wanted to bring Israel back to raise the topic of a Palestinian state, the Prime Minister was going to have something to say about it:

Netanyahu slams Obama call for ‘Palestine’ based on ’67 linesChristians United for Israel
“‘Those borders are not defensible,’ PM rages as he flies off to Washington; Palestinian state must not come ‘at Israel’s expense’; US President urges resumed talks, focused on territory, security.”

Yes, and they had a summit the next day in the United States capital:

Netanyahu meets Obama, rejects 1967 border proposal
“Obama and Netanyahu met at the White House a day after the US president endorsed a longstanding Palestinian demand on the 1967 borders for their future state; both leaders acknowledge difference between their positions.”

Yes, and our especially retarded president has wisely planned backpedaling:

Obama expected to make reconciliatory speech to AIPACChristians United for Israel
“Softer tone likely after fallout from reference to 1967 lines; AIPAC circulates letter asking participants to be respectful of speakers.”

I have updated my entertainingly shallow and pedantic blog.

Where was this 010

Well, like your girlfriend, I seem to be recovering nicely from my emotional slump. Now the University is saying that I am missing a few more required classes. I will have to make some calls for transcripts today, principally to ITT Tech. Last night I watched some episodes from this series:

STEINS;GATE
“Watch the latest episodes of STEINS;GATE on Crunchyroll now. Steins; Gate follows an eclectic group of individuals who have the ability to send text messages to the past. However throughout their experimentation process, an organization named SERN who has been doing their own research on time travel.”

Scientists cure cancer, but no one takes notice
“Canadian researchers find a simple cure for cancer, but major pharmaceutical companies are not interested. Researchers at the University of Alberta, in Edmonton, Canada have cured cancer last week, yet there…”

Of course as soon as you said that, you gotta know that I was going to read Star Trek IV Script from The Computer Core Dump.

Scooter Computer and Mr. Chips
“This is one of 3 Schoolhouse Rock! shorts that were never released to the public until 30 years after they were made.”

Does anyone know where to find an IBN 5100?

Infographic: The End of the Computer as We Know It | News & Opinion | PCMag.com
“The personal computer has gone through a lot of changes since the first integrated circuit was invented in 1958.”

Hey, Kimberly, I just found a BrainStorm Quick Start Card for Microsoft® Windows® 7; I might now be able to answer your query.

Vitality: Good News About Health, Happiness and Productivity
“Firm Up The Bottom Line Strong gluteal muscles play a key role in balance, lower body strength, and endurance. These exercise routines can help.”

♫ I don’t want to work.
I just want to bang on the drum all day. ♫

Grooming: How to bodygroom? – Braun
“Learn all about men’s grooming and how to bodygroom with basic tips on shaving the armpits, chest and other areas.”

Sure thing, I’d LOVE to help you move out of your two bedroom apartment! – The Oatmeal

Japan dresses down to save power
“Vending machines and heated toilet seats will be turned off and salarymen will swap their suits for Hawaiian shirts and shorts as Japan prepares for a summer of power shortages.”

Cameras Capture What Children Eat At School
“How do parents track everything their children are eating in school? Take a picture of it on a calorie camera.”

Saturday Night Live has not been any good in decades.

ThunderCats – Teaser Trailer [HQ]
“Think you know ThunderCats? Think again! Check out this AWESOME first look at the all-new ThunderCats, coming this summer to Cartoon Network!”

Hey, I wonder if Thor is thunderwhelming, loudly underwhelming.

NAPOLEON DYNAMITE – First Look Trailer
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE coming to FOX Midseason 2012! Follow on Twitter. ‘Like’ on Facebook.”

LOL >> Superman in England [Cartoon]

CrunchyrollNews
“The 14th Annual Plastic Model Exhibition was held at Japanese Paper Museum Ino Towon in Ino-cho, Kochi, from May 8 to 15. It was hosted by the three local model clubs in the Shikoku island, Tosa Model club (Kochi), Freedom (Kochi), and Sanuki Modelers (Kagawa). According to the Tosa Model Club’s …”

NBC Debuts Grimm TrailerComingSoon.net

Justin Halpern’s Dad Reacts to the Canceling of ‘Sh*t My Dad…BroBible.com
Sh*t My Dad Says was a quick read and a pretty good book. The T.V. show, however, was borderline unwatchable. Which isn’t much of a surprise…”

LOL.

Humor vampirism 001

As my family well knows, I have a tendency to suck away all the fun and humor by encouraging the bickering with, and among, my sisters. When among friends, I often suck away all the humor by forcing a pun. Nearly a year ago, I also sucked away all the humor by discussing grammar. I am often unknowingly quite hilarious at other times.

Here I am sucking away all the humor with a correction:

Twitter / Christopher Hurt: “Don’t you mean Glenn Beck? RT @chicineverycity: @OffOurChest what does #buzkill make you think of? glen beck”

Twitter / off our chests: “@chris_m_hurt @chicineverycity typos can be such a buzzkill.”

Twitter / Jessica: “@OffOurChest @chris_m_hurt werd.”

Twitter / Jessica: “@chris_m_hurt I’m from PA… embarrassing. I’m embracing your philosophy & assuming Toomey’s crazy reflects poorly on me. #yayegocentrism

Toomey, Top Republicans: Not Raising The Debt Ceiling? No Biggie!
“Top Republicans in Congress are advancing the idea that allowing the U.S. to default on its debts for a short amount of time will be fairly harmless, and is a far better option than lifting the debt ceiling sans dramatic spending cuts.”

Twitter / Christopher Hurt: “@OffOurChest @chicineverycity Actually, I thought that my pointing out the error was itself a bit of a #buzkill

He’s a bigger buzzkill than Buzz Killington.”

Twitter / off our chests: “@chris_m_hurt @chicineverycity oh, it was. but truth is truth, and it must be spoken. :)”

Here I am sucking away all the humor by forcing a pun:

The title of the following website suggests the addition of the primary consonant of the privateer, which in turn suggests a new nick-name for a different friend Jessie:

“[Preggster Jessie] is not only pregnant, she is very pregnant …”
… … …. … …

A second out of phase 001

A rather large dog

This was indeed a rather large dog, which might be called a cow in other parts of the country.

Before seeing to Tantrum with Loaded Dice on Friday at the Westport Coffee House, I was proven correct when I expected that Imo’s Pizza should ironically be free of weepy teens and hipsters; indeed no “emo” people were  there. Unfortunately, the audience was too small for the show, so they refunded our tickets and gave us coupons to see a free show.

Two months ago, co-worker invited me to a cook-out at his house. The event was the same time as the shows at the Roving Imp on Saturday. My sister Pamela came long. I had fun conversations, and ate plenty of bratwursts and turkey burgers. The weather was somewhat cooler than usual.

I find myself again feeling a second out of phase. A week has passed since my last improv class. The ordeal with my on-line class has emotionally drained me, and I have not looked at enough headlines related to automobiles to distract me from the exhaustion. This morning I have been coughing and sneezing too much. I will be glad to leave work early today for my doctor’s appointment.

Experimental Philosophy
“Find out when new studies sponsored by the APA and Yale Cognitive Science become available!”

The Chevrolet Caprice PPV, the Ford Explorer and Ford Taurus will soon become available for police use.

LA Sheriff’s Department tests new police cruisers, compiles findings in 174-page reportAutoblog
“2011 Chevrolet Caprice Police Car – Click above for high-res image gallery Curious about the latest crop of cop cars? The Los Angeles Sheriff…”

An Autocar article, “A week in a Mini E,” suggests that no purely electric vehicle is good for traveling long distances.

Nissan Leaf Nismo RC gets on-track shakedownAutoblog
“Nissan Leaf Nismo RC – Click above to watch video after the jump Nissan has yet to figure out exactly where the company will campaign its…”

This man has yet to figure out exactly how he will campaign.

World Net Daily: Newt Gingrich is a Liberal
“There’s simply no polite way to say this: Newt Gingrich is a liberal. – Gingrich has completely disqualified himself from consideration by any conservative Republican.”

Accent, you ain’t the thankfully good Chevy Cruze.

2012 Hyundai Accent: cheaper and better equipped
“The Accent Hyundai presented at this year’s Montreal Auto Show took everyone by surprise, a completely redesigned and frankly great product, both from an aesthetic and mechanical point of view.”

An interesting point of view, Nifer recently wondered if she could live without sleep. Such a premise was once used for the villain in Die Another Day, and the Aston Martin and Jaguar cars were also very nice.

Web Wanderings 021

Although Denton and I have actually not reviewed any algebra this afternoon, You Don’t Know Jack did include a question about factorials. Earlier, we were looking at The Blaze, a news site associated with Glenn Beck, and read, “The worst political ad ever.”

‘I Have Issues…I’m Korean!’: CA Dem Under Fire for ‘Offensive’ Campaign Ads
“Diane Ellis of Ricochet.com writes: Dan Adler is just one of many Democrats angling for California’s 36th District Congressional seat freshly vacated by Jane Harman.   But Adler‘s got something the other candidates don’t: a line of shocking, politically incorrect, and arguably offensive political advertisements.”

Three other ads are also shown on the page, and two include an appearance from the spouse and alternately the son of John Astin, who was noted for his catch phrase on Night Court:

But I’m feeling much better now.”

Those web wanderings were not like my most recent on-line course which has been an unmitigated disaster.

After tornadoes, junk donations become challenge
“Relief officials inundated with donations after the flurry of twisters that killed more than 300 people across the South are sorting through the broken toys and used underwear they don’t need while hunting for places to store mountains of vital supplies like canned food. ”

A friend observes, “I’ll never forget when I was in Honduras helping unload a crate for the needy, it was mostly garage sale castoffs… why would the AIDS hospital need a box of old tangled wigs?”

Botch-fest 019

Following the instructions of my academic adviser, I have regrettably had to withdraw from my on-line class. I submitted my institutional application late to the Department of Financial Aid, who subsequently lost the electronic copy of the form. I resubmitted the form, but I was disenrolled from the course on Friday. In order for me to not owe for the course, I was advised to drop the course. I regret that I have not been able to contribute to the class discussions. I did not understand that my responsibility was to purchase the textbook ahead of the class. When I have an appointment with a doctor requiring a blood test and property taxes due on my car, I do not know how I will be able to purchase the book ahead of the next term.

This has been an unmitigated disaster.